My life in my hands...

My life has been put into my hands.. im given 1 life changing decision

and it scares me.. either way i go someone will get hurt.. as well as me

no 15yo should have to go through this. no child should have to make this decision

how can you put this much pressure on a Teenager

I knew life was unfair but i guess i just never wanted to know how much

now i have to make the decision but im so confused..

should i protect him? should i open up and get help..

how can someone put their own family member in so much trouble

but how can a simple girl be broken hearted and used so much

none of this is helping me i have 1 day to make the hugest decision in my life

the most life changing decision i could possibly make... im tired of crying

tired of caring... why do i love so much? why do i have to care

i hate him so much but yet i love him... i have to... he's family nothin can change that.. i wrote a poem about it..

Scared of wrong decisions

scared of my position

scared of what might happen to me

this is killing me i'd rather not be free

im dying making these choices

in my head im hearing voices

telling me to end my life

Making me cut with sharp objects like a knife

Telling me No one needs me here

Hiding in my fear

Hiding away from the world

Hiding in my room desperately hating being told

How stupid and pathetic i am to everyone

Now look what ive done

Blood spilling on your expensive tiles

Knowing you'll be mad when you know

I pick up the knife and go deeper

Allowing myself to let go

I hope you know i was a keeper

Growing dizzy and becoming numb

blood dripping slowly off the tip of my thumb

smile fading from my lips

as my heart makes slow dips

its really ending....

my life would never be mending

i cry out to you one last time

with this silly little rhyme

after all you said...

im finally going to be dead

im sorry im leaving the ones i love

but my heart aches to go to heaven above